Hello there friends! In this 5th article, now under the title Stayin' Alive, I shall tackle a virtue representing the letter S in Stayin' Alive. As I mentioned in article 4, I am quite fond of presenting ideas through acronyms, so please bear with me on that. Any guess as to what the letter S might stand for considering our theme of stayin' alive? Many ideas sprouted as I scanned the possible entries in the letter S, like simplicity (my original focus in this blog, remember?), serenity, silence, spirituality, sincerity, stability, study, sacrifice, self-mastery, service and strength. I thought to myself - since this blog is all about stayin' alive, I have decided to designate SILENCE for S as it appears to be the most appropriate starting point for the aim of stayin' alive, spiritually and physically.
I refer to both silence of the tongue and silence of the heart. If one is modest in speech (perhaps even mute) but has a turbulent heart due to negative baggage, it is time to practice silence of the heart, serenity, if you will. Conversely, if one's inner self is so relaxed due to his peaceful countenance but handicapped by acidic loquacity, at times, perhaps, to the point of recklessness, then it is time for him to employ silence of the tongue. I know one prominent Filipino who, in the early 80s, suffered the tragic consequence of not taming his tongue. But I also know some people who possess the gift of staying kind, in words and in spirit, even during unfortunate or provocative moments. How desirable it will be to have both types of silence, right?
Jesus Christ is a perfect example of silence. In the Way of the Cross written by St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, the 9th Station (Jesus falls for the third time) gives an excerpt from Isaiah 53:7 which vividly describes the kind of silence that Jesus exemplified: "He offered himself up because it was his will; abused and ill-treated, he opened not his mouth as a sheep led to his slaughter, dumb as a lamb before its shearers". Such is Christ's supernatural way of achieving his aim of stayin' alive - through his passion, death and resurrection, benefitting the whole of humanity. Though we are not compelled to do a physical repeat of Jesus Christ's crucifixion, we are exhorted by Christ in Luke 9:23 "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
I think you'll agree with me that it is man's natural aspiration to follow examples of peace, of silence. But it is reality - what takes place around him and his own personal traits - that makes it difficult for him to keep his peace and simply bite his tongue especially when the human way he knows best to handle an oppressive occasion is do some yelling inspite of his knowledge that this kind of reaction can aggravate a situation that has turned incendiary to begin with. It takes two deliberate verbal offenders to create that kind of scenario. It is a miscommunication that can escalate into a long-running, deep seated animosity between erstwhile friends - and what a waste. Only the practice of silence by one or both communicators can avert this.
Real life examples abound of how a reckless use of the tongue can lead to social disorders. We're all witnesses to incidents of broken marriages, family disunity, disharmony in the workplace and local and global unrest, many of which can be traced to the inability of either of the feuding parties to resort to the very effective communication tool - SILENCE. Don't get me wrong. I am not advocating silence to the point of abdicating one's inherent right to express himself and defend his basic personal rights. Rather, I am offering an alternative in handling potentially destabilizing verbal exchanges in manageable cases.
If death is the great equalizer, then perhaps silence is the great stabilizer, isn't it? If you are a family man, try the silence effect at home - with your wife, with your children and with your in-laws. I am sure it will work like magic. Try it too with your business colleagues and with your favorite competitor. Have you ever tried agreeing silently with someone who is prepared to make a verbal discourse, maybe assault, to drive home a point and thwart your opinion or belief (in an amoral issue, that is). I don't know if this analogy suits: it's like driving a big wedge against the wheel of a truck that has broken loose while sloping down. There will be a jolt, yes... but the thing will definitely stop! The problem with us ordinary mortals is that we stubbornly cling to our distorted paradigm of "I am right, he is wrong", and when we're in the middle of desperately proving the other person wrong, we deliberately lose our peace and engage in verbal abuse and let the virtue of silence slip us by. And in our postmortem, we quixotically assess what happened: "What went wrong?" Hahaha. You knew exactly where it was headed for but you were overcome by your ill temper. The Pilipino word for that is more apt - "pikon".
On a lighter note, there is this need for silence in man's usual daily routine where he can commit honest, sometimes amusing, mistakes in communication (1) timing - he can talk out of turn which is a demerit in interpersonal relations; or he can simply blurt out things to draw attention to himself (KSP or "kulang sa pansin" or wanting in attention), (2) dosage - he can overtalk maybe because it's his habit or he's uncontrollably excited to share something; loquacity is not that easy to check since the average person is prone to show off what he knows and may not be aware of the rules of proper communication, (3) accuracy - there's a saying "more talk, more mistakes, less talk, less mistakes, no talk, no mistakes, the loud message of which is that it is better to open your mouth when you're on the safe side of correctness; but there are people who would rather experience humiliation to develop their confidence or chutzpah, if you will, than suffer in silence. If the breach of silence in the 3 items I mentioned above leads to laughter or raised eyebrows, I think the other party, or the man at the receiving end, will hopefully be more tolerant and respond with a smile... and silence.
Let us all be agents of peace. When called for, let us be silent. And help ourselves and others enjoy stayin' alive! See you next article for the letter T.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
COVERING A WIDER FIELD
Hello there friends! Sorry for the long absence! I have decided recently that since the life of a person revolves around the practice of a wide range of virtues (or good habits), then there is a need to re-title this blog from Staying Simple, Staying Alive to Stayin' Alive to suit the general scope intended in this new thrust. Staying Simple is focused on just one of the virtues: Simplicity. Although it is a laudable virtue, making it the sole topic for this blog may not be encouraging for you, my dear friends and readers as it is quite limited. But if the scope goes around the whole gamut of life's healthy practices, that'll be more interesting, isn't it? Yes, for both of us. Plus the bonus is that if I use Stayin' Alive as the title of my blog, I guess the '70s nostalgia will stimulate my gray matter to come up with better ideas on how to keep Stayin' Alive both physically and spiritually. How I wish I can splice a short portion of that disco music from the Bee Gees and patch it here as an intro or warm up. Right now, I have very limited knowledge in video and sound editing to make that possible. But I'll find a way.
The foundation established in the initial article of this blog remains the same: man ought to put to heart his mission to Know, Love and Serve God. His goal: Heaven. That idea was tackled in the first article written and can still be viewed in this blog, along with the 2nd and the 3rd. I haven't yet finalized the factors that I will consider in choosing what virtue or good habit to discuss on a specific date. But one thing is definite: if I find myself wanting in a certain good habit, that will not be a reason to skip discussing the habit. On the contrary, that should be a strong motivation for me to cover the topic as a way of reminding myself to improve on that virtue and to show others that working it up is possible no matter how difficult as long as one is genuinely intent in constantly making changes where and when they count.
At this time, I will be using the acronym method of presenting ideas. In my training sessions as a Sales Head in my present as well as past career affiliations in the field of real estate marketing, I have regularly used acronyms as a tool to kinda order a certain set of ideas and make them easier to remember. Some say it's an easy way out but for me, it's a challenge to match the discussion with the topic found in each letter of the word or the phrase being covered. And since it's a personal style that I have been used to, I request that my friends adapt to this "acronym" approach. Some modules I have developed using this approach are: (1) Charismatic Speaker (2) Real Estate Focus (3) Toastmaster. And titles like Inspire, Prime, EDSA (Elite Direct Sales Associates, my own group in KidzWorld, a theme park project in the early 2000), GIL (my own nickname which I used to coin my business name, "Global Industrial Link"). More on acronyms - the late Sir Raul Paredes of my past Kiwanis Club (the so-called Premier Club- Manila) gave us an amusing story about the original Light Rail Transit-1 connecting the cities of Pasay, Manila and Caloocan when the government was in the process of finding an appropriate name for it. People came up with all sorts of titles.
One name that caught the fancy of former President Ferdinand E. Marcos (it was during his term when LRT-1 was constructed and first operated) was the acronym M.A.R.C.O.S. However he did not approve of it for obvious reasons. I won't make you guess what the creators of that name had in mind. Here it is: Metropolitan Area Rail Commuter Overhead System. They even had a story for that. A usually tardy employee in Manila comes in early regularly for work, to the surprise of many. Curious, they asked him: "What have you been doing lately to improve on your punctuality?" His reply: "Nagma-MARCOS po ako. Mag-MARCOS na rin po kayo!" Perhaps I need to make this clear - No campaign intended here for his son Bongbong. Just wanted to show the effectiveness of acronyms in delivering ideas succintly, and creatively.
In my next article, I will start discussing the new title of my blog: Stayin' Alive using the acronym method. I shall target one virtue representing each letter and that single punctuation mark there, the apostrophe after letter "n" (huh?, even the apostrophe will be given an equivalent virtue? Yes and you'll see in the subsequent issues as we go along). And while the next article is pending, you can post some suggestions as to what, in your opinion, those letters in Stayin' Alive can stand for to make this article more exciting and interactive. Since the first letter is a premier spot, I guess you have a ready thought what that letter S stands for. More on that in our next discussion. In the meantime, I enjoin everyone to help boost quality of life in their families and the society they belong to through the deliberate, conscious and constant practice of life's virtues, our natural/organic and God's preferred way of Stayin' Alive.
The foundation established in the initial article of this blog remains the same: man ought to put to heart his mission to Know, Love and Serve God. His goal: Heaven. That idea was tackled in the first article written and can still be viewed in this blog, along with the 2nd and the 3rd. I haven't yet finalized the factors that I will consider in choosing what virtue or good habit to discuss on a specific date. But one thing is definite: if I find myself wanting in a certain good habit, that will not be a reason to skip discussing the habit. On the contrary, that should be a strong motivation for me to cover the topic as a way of reminding myself to improve on that virtue and to show others that working it up is possible no matter how difficult as long as one is genuinely intent in constantly making changes where and when they count.
At this time, I will be using the acronym method of presenting ideas. In my training sessions as a Sales Head in my present as well as past career affiliations in the field of real estate marketing, I have regularly used acronyms as a tool to kinda order a certain set of ideas and make them easier to remember. Some say it's an easy way out but for me, it's a challenge to match the discussion with the topic found in each letter of the word or the phrase being covered. And since it's a personal style that I have been used to, I request that my friends adapt to this "acronym" approach. Some modules I have developed using this approach are: (1) Charismatic Speaker (2) Real Estate Focus (3) Toastmaster. And titles like Inspire, Prime, EDSA (Elite Direct Sales Associates, my own group in KidzWorld, a theme park project in the early 2000), GIL (my own nickname which I used to coin my business name, "Global Industrial Link"). More on acronyms - the late Sir Raul Paredes of my past Kiwanis Club (the so-called Premier Club- Manila) gave us an amusing story about the original Light Rail Transit-1 connecting the cities of Pasay, Manila and Caloocan when the government was in the process of finding an appropriate name for it. People came up with all sorts of titles.
One name that caught the fancy of former President Ferdinand E. Marcos (it was during his term when LRT-1 was constructed and first operated) was the acronym M.A.R.C.O.S. However he did not approve of it for obvious reasons. I won't make you guess what the creators of that name had in mind. Here it is: Metropolitan Area Rail Commuter Overhead System. They even had a story for that. A usually tardy employee in Manila comes in early regularly for work, to the surprise of many. Curious, they asked him: "What have you been doing lately to improve on your punctuality?" His reply: "Nagma-MARCOS po ako. Mag-MARCOS na rin po kayo!" Perhaps I need to make this clear - No campaign intended here for his son Bongbong. Just wanted to show the effectiveness of acronyms in delivering ideas succintly, and creatively.
In my next article, I will start discussing the new title of my blog: Stayin' Alive using the acronym method. I shall target one virtue representing each letter and that single punctuation mark there, the apostrophe after letter "n" (huh?, even the apostrophe will be given an equivalent virtue? Yes and you'll see in the subsequent issues as we go along). And while the next article is pending, you can post some suggestions as to what, in your opinion, those letters in Stayin' Alive can stand for to make this article more exciting and interactive. Since the first letter is a premier spot, I guess you have a ready thought what that letter S stands for. More on that in our next discussion. In the meantime, I enjoin everyone to help boost quality of life in their families and the society they belong to through the deliberate, conscious and constant practice of life's virtues, our natural/organic and God's preferred way of Stayin' Alive.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
EASE IN VERBAL EXCHANGES
...As a result of this unperturbed character, we grow to be generally more patient, having the desire of staying simple, staying alive.
Hello friends! Last time, we looked at the etymology of the word "simple" and as my personal choices, I mentioned selected synonyms which I believe encompass the various forms of simplicity as seen or experienced in our daily encounters: easy, uncomplicated, painless, plain, unadorned , unflashy and sincere. It is fascinating to observe how these terms are either practised or neglected by people in their regular interaction with family members, friends and business associates.
A good question to ask ourselves to gauge our level of simplicity would be: "How many of our daily verbal exchanges end up on a positive note? Let us call this one "Ease in Verbal Exchanges" or EVE. To score yourself, you can use the simple percentage adopted in many schools: 75% and higher - passing and below 75% - needs improvement, red mark or, if you desire rigidity for greater challenge, mark anything below 75% a failure and demand more from yourself through your own scheme. If you're a smoker, less number of sticks for tomorrow or if you are totally dependent on your own vehicle for travelling, impose a carless day, etc.
Keeping tab of our dialogues within the day may be getting out of our simplicity paradigm. But since that is a necessary ingredient (i.e., establishing a definite yardstick for measuring ease in our human relations), we should not mind experiencing temporary inconveniences. Every conversational occasion can be counted as an event, that has a definite start and definite conclusion, making it possible for us to do a simple count and allowing for a way to come up with the grade. Positive-ending events divided by the total number of events should total 75% for a satisfactory grade or higher for more convincing grades.
I know the thought you're entertaining now - "That is not being simple!". Well, we need to start somewhere. As I mentioned a while ago, we need to be open to some inconveniences along the way. A possible simple approach is to just recall how many positive events went through and consider that as the score for the day. Simple, right? Well, the trouble with that approach is it will encourage you to be very soft on yourself and reason out: "OK, I have 20 positive events for today." Sounds good, so far. But the other side which is not accounted for in this oversimplistic approach is the number of negative events that will pull down your total score. So, if you have 20 events but had 10 negative events, you are actually going to end up with a EVE of 66% (20/30), indicating a failure.
One thing has to be settled in this approach though and that is to be definite as to the determination or classification of events as positive or negative - here is where extreme subjectivity can lead to a flawed conclusion. For example, if you are a parent and you just said NO (after due explanation and some stroking) to your adolescent child who wants to sleep over at his or her classmate's house, is that a negative or positive score? One couple may say: "We hurt our daughter's feelings by saying no. That is a negative event". Another couple might say: "We have house rules about sleeping over in another person's house and that is allowed only if (1) a school work that requires group effort is pending or a big event is taking place like a debut celebration or (2) junior-senior prom where classmates would want some chitchat in a classmate's house and the parents of the host classmate are present to watch over the students or (3) No mixed gender in the overnight, or, if possible in the house set-up, 2 separate rooms for males and females. Here is where the necessity of a goal (discussed in our article dated Monday, January 12, 2015) comes in. If we know our goals as parents, children, friends or business associates, it will be easier for us to gauge the negativity or positivity of a relational or conversational event. In our example, the house rules set by the parents in the specific consideration of spending the night over in a classmate's house is itself the goal.
There are unlimited number of examples covering the home, social circles, school, workplace, church and other places where social interaction happen. The important thing is not to change the goal to suit the situation or make the event look positive. Consistency, after all, is akin to simplicity. If you look at the terms related to simplicity as shown in the article dated Wednesday, January 14, 2015, you will note the terms "sincere", "absolute" and "unqualified", connoting that "changing horses in mid-stream" is not only risky but quite deceptive as it influences the desired results.
There you have it - the EVE as a way of measuring your ease in verbal exchanges. Because you, too, aim for staying simple, staying alive.
Hello friends! Last time, we looked at the etymology of the word "simple" and as my personal choices, I mentioned selected synonyms which I believe encompass the various forms of simplicity as seen or experienced in our daily encounters: easy, uncomplicated, painless, plain, unadorned , unflashy and sincere. It is fascinating to observe how these terms are either practised or neglected by people in their regular interaction with family members, friends and business associates.
A good question to ask ourselves to gauge our level of simplicity would be: "How many of our daily verbal exchanges end up on a positive note? Let us call this one "Ease in Verbal Exchanges" or EVE. To score yourself, you can use the simple percentage adopted in many schools: 75% and higher - passing and below 75% - needs improvement, red mark or, if you desire rigidity for greater challenge, mark anything below 75% a failure and demand more from yourself through your own scheme. If you're a smoker, less number of sticks for tomorrow or if you are totally dependent on your own vehicle for travelling, impose a carless day, etc.
Keeping tab of our dialogues within the day may be getting out of our simplicity paradigm. But since that is a necessary ingredient (i.e., establishing a definite yardstick for measuring ease in our human relations), we should not mind experiencing temporary inconveniences. Every conversational occasion can be counted as an event, that has a definite start and definite conclusion, making it possible for us to do a simple count and allowing for a way to come up with the grade. Positive-ending events divided by the total number of events should total 75% for a satisfactory grade or higher for more convincing grades.
I know the thought you're entertaining now - "That is not being simple!". Well, we need to start somewhere. As I mentioned a while ago, we need to be open to some inconveniences along the way. A possible simple approach is to just recall how many positive events went through and consider that as the score for the day. Simple, right? Well, the trouble with that approach is it will encourage you to be very soft on yourself and reason out: "OK, I have 20 positive events for today." Sounds good, so far. But the other side which is not accounted for in this oversimplistic approach is the number of negative events that will pull down your total score. So, if you have 20 events but had 10 negative events, you are actually going to end up with a EVE of 66% (20/30), indicating a failure.
One thing has to be settled in this approach though and that is to be definite as to the determination or classification of events as positive or negative - here is where extreme subjectivity can lead to a flawed conclusion. For example, if you are a parent and you just said NO (after due explanation and some stroking) to your adolescent child who wants to sleep over at his or her classmate's house, is that a negative or positive score? One couple may say: "We hurt our daughter's feelings by saying no. That is a negative event". Another couple might say: "We have house rules about sleeping over in another person's house and that is allowed only if (1) a school work that requires group effort is pending or a big event is taking place like a debut celebration or (2) junior-senior prom where classmates would want some chitchat in a classmate's house and the parents of the host classmate are present to watch over the students or (3) No mixed gender in the overnight, or, if possible in the house set-up, 2 separate rooms for males and females. Here is where the necessity of a goal (discussed in our article dated Monday, January 12, 2015) comes in. If we know our goals as parents, children, friends or business associates, it will be easier for us to gauge the negativity or positivity of a relational or conversational event. In our example, the house rules set by the parents in the specific consideration of spending the night over in a classmate's house is itself the goal.
There are unlimited number of examples covering the home, social circles, school, workplace, church and other places where social interaction happen. The important thing is not to change the goal to suit the situation or make the event look positive. Consistency, after all, is akin to simplicity. If you look at the terms related to simplicity as shown in the article dated Wednesday, January 14, 2015, you will note the terms "sincere", "absolute" and "unqualified", connoting that "changing horses in mid-stream" is not only risky but quite deceptive as it influences the desired results.
There you have it - the EVE as a way of measuring your ease in verbal exchanges. Because you, too, aim for staying simple, staying alive.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
A CLOSER LOOK AT THE WORD SIMPLE
...Starting and ending our day with thoughts of God is indeed a perfect way of staying simple, staying alive!
Hi there. This time, let us look at the background of the word simple and be entertained finding out that we do or think in simple terms, in accordance with the etymology of "simple" (oops, that may not be being simple - can't help it; I need to be specific; in any case, the official explanation of the term is: "the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history").
Simple comes from the Latin term "simplus" , which originally referred to a medicine made from one constituent, especially from one plant. No wonder, when one limits his involvement or preoccupation to a single subject, he is said to be simple. Or if he derives satisfaction focusing on one activity or one goal.
The word simple later developed various meanings including (1)straightforward, easy, uncomplicated, uninvolved, effortless, painless, undemanding,
elementary,
(2) plain, basic, or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; without much decoration or ornamentation, plain, unadorned, undecorated, unembellished, unornamented, unelaborate,basic, unsophisticated, no frills, classic, understated, uncluttered, restrained, unflashy,
unshowy
Hi there. This time, let us look at the background of the word simple and be entertained finding out that we do or think in simple terms, in accordance with the etymology of "simple" (oops, that may not be being simple - can't help it; I need to be specific; in any case, the official explanation of the term is: "the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history").
Simple comes from the Latin term "simplus" , which originally referred to a medicine made from one constituent, especially from one plant. No wonder, when one limits his involvement or preoccupation to a single subject, he is said to be simple. Or if he derives satisfaction focusing on one activity or one goal.
The word simple later developed various meanings including (1)straightforward, easy, uncomplicated, uninvolved, effortless, painless, undemanding,
elementary,
(2) plain, basic, or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; without much decoration or ornamentation, plain, unadorned, undecorated, unembellished, unornamented, unelaborate,basic, unsophisticated, no frills, classic, understated, uncluttered, restrained, unflashy,
unshowy
(3)used to emphasize the fundamental and straightforward nature of something, candid, frank, honest, sincere, plain, absolute, unqualified, bald, stark, unadorned, uvarnished, unembellished, the simple truth
I guess many of us find the words applicable to certain things we do, think or say. I particularly like the derivative words easy, uncomplicated, painless, plain, unadorned, unflashy and sincere. Although they refer to the same reference word, each has a specific imagery that teaches or shows us how to be simple. The the word "easy" - who wouldn't want to be easy to get along with? It exudes an air of openness to things, events or people who/which are either naturally attractive or repulsive. If we have that welcoming attitude towards the unpalatable, it is easier to stay simple...and we grow to be generally more patient, having that desire for stayin' simple, stayin' alive. |
Monday, January 12, 2015
BLOG FOR STAYIN' ALIVE
Hello, my name is Gil Banaria from Cubao, Quezon City, Philippines. I am a Licensed Real Estate Broker and a happy family man with my wife Emma and my six grown up children, ages 19 to 32, 3 males and 3 females. I am in the field of real estate sales of properties located in Metro-Manila and some nearby provinces and I do that through Cypress Grove Estates Corporation where I manage sales.
This blog is all about life and living and how to stay alive by living the virtue of simplicity. I decided to write a blog along this line in order to help my loved ones, friends and others come up with simple ideas about always staying afloat inspite of the turbulence around us. Many times, we desire to avoid life's complications but fall into the trap unconsciously and end up stressed and frustrated. We're lucky enough if we are able to break the cycle and bounce back. Some, perhaps many (sorry I have no statistics), hit rock bottom, emotionally, and find it hard to recover or bring back their usual vigor, their zest for life. My blog might be able to help them. I say might because it will be pretentious on my part to claim that my ideas are a guarantee for survival.
Let us look at the basic terms laid out in this article about staying simple and staying alive. What does staying simple really mean? Is it keeping things to the bare minimum and denying oneself constantly? Yes, with certain conditions - if the bare minimum and self-denial makes one at ease and do not create a self-limiting and depressing paradigm, that kind of simplicity is desirable. My own example is if you can have a 2nd class , maybe 3rd class, but highly effective cell phone unit which serves your basic requirements at home and in your business, go for it! Sometimes, having a first class gadget can be purely for status symbol in which case it is no longer fit for our staying simple paradigm.
Many thinkers, coaches, speakers or motivators may disagree with me on that one since there is always that option to "fake it until you make it" or "first class opportunities come to those who go first class". Might be highly disagreeable. I know of some wealth gurus who preach spending to the limits in order to attract wealth. In my opinion, they've got it in reverse - I think it is more doable and realistic to attract wealth first through smart and hard work and decide whether to splurge or to practice moderation (I would go for the latter) once the resources are available.
I probably jumped the gun there, so let me backtrack now. I think that very basic in defining our paradigm of staying simple, staying alive is framing our goals as individuals and as families (if we are family men and women). We always hear that a person without a goal is like a ship without a rudder. True! Our goal makes us more capable of navigating the waters, so to speak. They serve as guideposts along the way and help us avoid going astray. A good, basic personal goal would be "to know love and serve God". I recognize and accept that, for an atheist, that doesn't make sense. Although, as a bonus for me, I know that among those who may read my articles, some may get transformed, even hard core doubters.
Having God as one's very basic goal sets our life journey on the right track. Moving forward with Him makes our moments precious and worth living. Starting and ending our day with thoughts of God is indeed a perfect way of staying simple, staying alive!
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