EASE IN VERBAL EXCHANGES

...As a result of this unperturbed character, we grow to be generally more patient, having the desire of staying simple, staying alive.

Hello friends!  Last time, we looked at the etymology of the word "simple" and as my personal choices, I mentioned selected synonyms which I believe encompass the various forms of simplicity as seen or experienced in our daily encounters:  easy, uncomplicated, painless, plain, unadorned , unflashy and sincere.  It is fascinating to observe how these terms are either practised or neglected by people in their regular interaction with family members, friends and business associates.

A good question to ask ourselves to gauge our level of simplicity would be: "How many of our daily verbal exchanges end up on a positive note?  Let us call this one "Ease in Verbal Exchanges" or EVE. To score yourself, you can use the simple percentage adopted in many schools:  75% and higher - passing and below 75% - needs improvement, red mark or, if you desire rigidity for greater challenge, mark anything below 75% a failure and demand more from yourself through your own scheme.  If you're a smoker, less number of sticks for tomorrow or if you are totally dependent on your own vehicle for travelling, impose a carless day, etc.

Keeping tab of our dialogues within the day may be getting out of our simplicity paradigm. But since that is a necessary ingredient (i.e., establishing a definite yardstick for measuring ease in our human relations), we should not mind experiencing temporary inconveniences. Every conversational occasion can be counted as an event, that has a definite start and definite conclusion, making it possible for us to do a simple count and allowing for a way to come up with the grade. Positive-ending events divided by the total number of events should total 75% for a satisfactory grade or higher for more convincing grades.

I know the thought you're entertaining now - "That is not being simple!".  Well, we need to start somewhere.  As I mentioned a while ago, we need to be open to some inconveniences along the way.  A possible simple approach is to just recall how many positive events went through and consider that as the score for the day.  Simple, right?  Well, the trouble with that approach is it will encourage you to be very soft on yourself and reason out:  "OK, I have 20 positive events for today."  Sounds good, so far.  But the other side which is not accounted for in this oversimplistic approach is the number of negative events that will pull down your total score.  So, if you have 20 events but had 10 negative events, you are actually going to end up with a EVE of 66% (20/30), indicating a failure.

One thing has to be settled in this approach though and that is to be definite as to the determination or classification of events as positive or negative - here is where extreme subjectivity can lead to a flawed conclusion.  For example, if you are a parent and you just said NO (after due explanation and some stroking) to your adolescent child who wants to sleep over at his or her classmate's house, is that a negative or positive score?  One couple may say: "We hurt our daughter's feelings by saying no.  That is a negative event".  Another couple might say: "We have house rules about sleeping over in another person's house and that is allowed only if (1) a school work that requires group effort is pending or a big event is taking place like a debut celebration or (2) junior-senior prom where classmates would want some chitchat in a classmate's house and the parents of the host classmate are present to watch over the students or (3) No mixed gender in the overnight, or, if possible in the house set-up, 2 separate rooms for males and females. Here is where the necessity of a goal (discussed in our article dated Monday, January 12, 2015) comes in.  If we know our goals as parents, children, friends or business associates, it will be easier for us to gauge the negativity or positivity of a relational or conversational event.  In our example, the house rules set by the parents in the specific consideration of spending the night over in a classmate's house is itself the goal. 

There are unlimited number of examples covering the home, social circles, school, workplace, church and other places where social interaction happen.  The important thing is not to change the goal to suit the situation or make the event look positive. Consistency, after all, is akin to simplicity.  If you look at the terms related to simplicity as shown in the article dated Wednesday, January 14, 2015, you will note the terms "sincere", "absolute" and "unqualified", connoting that "changing horses in mid-stream" is not only risky but quite deceptive as it influences the desired results. 

There you have it - the EVE as a way of measuring your ease in verbal exchanges. Because you, too, aim for staying simple, staying alive. 

A CLOSER LOOK AT THE WORD SIMPLE

...Starting and ending our day with thoughts of God is indeed a perfect way of staying simple, staying alive!    

Hi there.  This time, let us look at the background of the word simple and be entertained finding out that we do or think in simple terms, in accordance with the etymology of "simple" (oops, that may not be being simple - can't help it; I need to be specific; in any case, the official explanation of the term is: "the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history").  

Simple comes from the Latin term "simplus" ,  which originally referred to a medicine made from one constituent, especially from one plant.  No wonder, when one limits his involvement or preoccupation to a single subject, he is said to be simple.  Or if he derives satisfaction focusing on one activity or one goal. 

 The word simple later developed various meanings including (1)straightforward, easy, uncomplicated, uninvolved, effortless, painless, undemanding, 
elementary, 
(2) plain, basic, or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; without much decoration or ornamentation, plain, unadorned, undecorated, unembellished, unornamented, unelaborate,basic, unsophisticated,  no frills, classic, understated, uncluttered, restrained, unflashy, 
unshowy

(3)used to emphasize the fundamental and straightforward nature of something, candid, frank, honest, sincere, plain, absolute, unqualified, bald, stark, unadorned, uvarnished, unembellished, the simple truth

I guess many of us find the words applicable to certain things we do, think or say.   I particularly like the derivative words easy, uncomplicated, painless, plain, unadorned,  unflashy and sincere.  Although they refer to the same reference word, each has a specific  imagery that teaches or shows us how to be simple.  The the word "easy" - who wouldn't  want to be easy to get along with?  It exudes an air of openness to things, events or people  who/which are either naturally attractive or repulsive.  If we have that welcoming attitude  towards the unpalatable, it is easier to stay simple...and we grow to be generally more  patient, having that desire for stayin' simple, stayin' alive.

BLOG FOR STAYIN' ALIVE

Hello, my name is Gil Banaria from Cubao, Quezon City, Philippines.  I am a Licensed Real Estate Broker and a happy family man with my wife Emma and my six grown up children, ages 19 to 32, 3 males and 3 females. I am in the field of real estate sales of properties located in Metro-Manila and some nearby provinces and I do that through Cypress Grove Estates Corporation where I manage sales.

This blog is all about life and living and how to stay alive by living the virtue of simplicity.  I decided to write a blog along this line in order to help my loved ones, friends and others come up with simple ideas about always staying afloat inspite of the turbulence around us.  Many times, we desire to avoid life's complications but fall into the trap unconsciously and end up stressed and frustrated.  We're lucky enough if we are able to break the cycle and bounce back.  Some, perhaps many (sorry I have no statistics), hit rock bottom, emotionally, and find it hard to recover or bring back their usual vigor, their zest for life.  My blog might be able to help them.  I say might because it will be pretentious on my part to claim that my ideas are a guarantee for survival. 

Let us look at the basic terms laid out in this article about staying simple and staying alive.  What does staying simple really mean?  Is it keeping things to the bare minimum and denying oneself constantly?  Yes, with certain conditions -  if the bare minimum and self-denial makes one at ease and do not create a self-limiting and depressing paradigm, that kind of simplicity is desirable.  My own example is if you can have a 2nd class , maybe 3rd class, but highly effective cell phone unit which serves your basic requirements at home and in your business, go for it!  Sometimes, having a first class gadget can be purely for status symbol in which case it is no longer fit for our staying simple paradigm.     

Many thinkers, coaches, speakers or motivators may disagree with me on that one since there is always that option to "fake it until you make it" or "first class opportunities come to those who go first class".  Might be highly disagreeable.  I know of some wealth gurus who preach spending to the limits in order to attract wealth.  In my opinion, they've got it in reverse - I think it is more doable and realistic to attract wealth first through smart and hard work and decide whether to splurge or to practice moderation (I would go for the latter) once the resources are available.

I probably jumped the gun there, so let me backtrack now.  I think that very basic in defining our paradigm of staying simple, staying alive is framing our goals as individuals and as families (if we are family men and women).  We always hear that a person without a goal is like a ship without a rudder.  True!  Our goal makes us more capable of navigating the waters, so to speak.  They serve as guideposts along the way and help us avoid going astray.  A good, basic personal goal would be "to know love and serve God".  I recognize and accept that, for an atheist, that doesn't make sense. Although, as a bonus for me, I know that among those who may read my articles, some may get transformed, even hard core doubters.

Having God as one's very basic goal sets our life journey on the right track.  Moving forward with Him makes our moments precious and worth living.  Starting and ending our day with thoughts of God is indeed a perfect way of staying simple, staying alive!